does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize