I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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