Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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