yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
