Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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