Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
