I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
