singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize