I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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