I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
