Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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