Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
