Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
