That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
