I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My dick has a subreddit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
