I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
