he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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