he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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