I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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