it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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