doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
