can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
