just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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