where am i from again
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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