guys are not supposed to queef...right?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My breasts were aching with rage.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
