It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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