FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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