wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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