too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize