im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
