But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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