Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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