hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have aggressive nipples.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
