Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize