i would punch a child for taco bell
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize