So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
