Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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