THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
