i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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