Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
