SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
