Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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