Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
