508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
