I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
