a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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