did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
