after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
