How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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