You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
