You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
