Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
