my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The air taste purple.
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