we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
