You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
