Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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