i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
