You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
