I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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