If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
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