I'm gonna have a badass scar
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
