On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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