Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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