I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just forgot I was standing up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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