I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
